Reflections on (almost) three years post sabbatical
What's changed and what's stayed the same
Announcement: I’m hosting a community screening of my short film, After Moonrise, in New York on July 10th in partnership with Welcome to Chinatown. If you’re around and interested in checking out the film (along with works by other South Asian artists), RSVP here.
I left my corporate product career and took a sabbatical in September 2023.
It was a long-overdue but exciting moment, an acknowledgment that the path I was on—the one I had worked so hard to build over the last decade—might no longer be the right one for me. I was terrified of what came after, but more than anything, I was excited. The freedom that I had been thinking about for months was finally here.
Now, it’s June 2026, the almost three-year anniversary of my sabbatical. I thought it would be fun to look back and see how close I came to realizing the intention of my sabbatical, what I learned along the way, and the next phase of this journey.
The intentions
When I started, I had three goals:
Articulate my purpose, and align my career accordingly
Find a schedule that balances moving towards that purpose and my energy (rather than biasing towards the former)
Find other sources of self-worth beyond achievement (especially since a big part of my burnout was tied to my need to go above and beyond)
Let’s take a closer look at each one.
#1: A purpose-aligned career
I knew that my true purpose was always tied to storytelling, and using that as a vehicle to express myself and connect with others. Yet at the same time, I was eager to try something entrepreneurial, so I had the flexibility to work on my creative projects. But finding the right balance between these things was an open question.
I spent the first six months truly experimenting, churning through projects, ideas, conversations, and reflections. The most challenging part was learning how to quit and listen to my instincts of what’s calling to me, rather than pushing through so I could “finish” or picking the thing that made the “most sense.” I think I had this desire to have a clear career narrative, and that often superseded my own curiosity/instincts.
Within a year, I had landed on three things: coaching, working as a technical writer at Copytree, and screenwriting. This quickly became unsustainable, especially since the scope of each was so large: I wanted more client work at Copytree, yet I was also trying to double revenue in my coaching business and exploring film and TV writing.
That’s too much for any person to handle.
After much deliberation, I decided to scale back my coaching business. I realized that writing and film were my priority, and to fully pursue it, I needed a stable paycheck. Copytree guaranteed that, especially as I started picking up more client work. And though it hurt to scale back on my coaching business because I loved it so much, I knew I loved writing and film more.
The bet paid off: I’ve been a staff writer at Copytree for the last two years, working on retainer. The job is incredibly flexible, and I have a great boss who’s supportive of my creative ambitions. This space allowed me to write and direct my first short film, After Moonrise, and now I’m in development on my next short.
But there are still lots of open questions. I recently realized that my purpose is bigger than just writing to express myself: I also care about building a creative career to inspire future generations in my family to pursue their passions. But what does having a career mean? Is making work I like enough, or does it need to have a certain output to feel enough?
Going down this path of becoming a working writer/director also comes with real tradeoffs, especially as a woman who wants to start a family. But beyond that, there’s also a desire to see progress quickly. I’m someone who puts everything I have into an endeavor, and when the results don’t match the effort, I feel so crushed that I begin doubting the path. Do I have the resilience and grit to keep fighting, even when it feels like things aren’t really going my way? Do I even want to, especially after my time in product? I’m still wrestling with these questions.
#2: Finding my rhythm
Once I figured out my priorities, I very quickly found a schedule that works for me. Now, Monday through Thursday, I wake up around 6.30-7 AM, work out or go for a walk, work at Copytree (sometimes taking meetings for film-related work), and then see friends/chill/catch up on life. On Fridays and Sunday afternoons, I work on film stuff (or take the occasional coaching client). Saturdays are totally off.
It’s an intense schedule, and not everything goes to plan. There are days when I don’t have anything left in the tank or have competing personal priorities. Prior to my sabbatical, I used to punish myself for not meeting a commitment to myself, but my sabbatical has helped me appreciate that sometimes, the problem isn’t me. Maybe the schedule is too tight, I need to take more breaks, or maybe I do need to push myself more.
One thing I’m struggling with is my reliance on structure. I have calendar blocks on weekends for various tasks that I “should” do, to reflect on various areas of my life or make more progress on ancillary projects (like redoing my personal website or checking in on my finances). And to be clear, sometimes these are really helpful, like checking in on my finances. But they can also feel draining, especially since they often stem from anxiety of falling behind in some area of my life. I’m still figuring out the right balance.
#3: Finding new sources of self-worth
I’ve always known that I’m addicted to achievement, using it to convince myself that I’m a good person. I knew that if I didn’t address this fatal flaw, I would fall back into the same trap of achievement-related burnout as I experienced in tech—just in a new career path. But how do you undo decades of conditioning, especially when it’s so core to who you are?
Some people might suggest that you need new ways of thinking about and seeing yourself, whether that means embracing new beliefs or trying new habits. But what I realized is doing that requires creating space, which happens through revisiting the wounds, memories, and versions of yourself that first embraced the belief that “achievement makes me worthy.” You have to have a conversation with that version of yourself, seeing things from their eyes and feeling their pain, before you can truly embrace new beliefs.
This is hard, difficult, circular work. Sometimes, you feel like you’ve made progress, only for it to feel totally undone the following week. Or, you feel like you’re done, but turns out there’s so much more. Working with a therapist helps, so you don’t feel totally alone in this work and have some support along the way. Talking to friends and loved ones helps, and I have also found it incredibly cathartic to document my journey on this Substack, connecting with others who have had similar experiences.
But I can’t say that the journey is over; in fact, working through this will probably be my life’s work. My rejection from Tribeca is a great reminder that achievement still has me in a chokehold. But there are glimmers of change. There are many days I find joy in just being around people I love, taking in the simple pleasures of life, whether it’s going for a walk or cooking a great meal. When I meet new people, and they aren’t that impressed with my job title, it doesn’t bother me anymore. Or when I’m falling behind in my creative projects, my internal voice isn’t screaming at me to catch up. Those are moments when I feel content with what I have, where I’m at, and where I’m going—even if it’s ephemeral.
Thanks for reading!
I’m a former tech product manager turned technical writer and filmmaker. In this newsletter, I share more about my journey of chasing my writing/directing dreams while working part-time in tech, growing a family, and learning that I’m more than my achievements. Here are some ways to support my work:
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