From Couch to 10K

Finding harmonious passion in running

I have zero chill when it comes to hobbies. 

Example: earlier this year, I went to the Interfusion festival, where I was first exposed to acroyoga. I was fascinated by how you have to work together to put your bodies in cool-looking shapes. The ease and fluidity of acrobatic movement was also absolutely beautiful, reminding me of figure skating or gymnastics. I wanted to try it out, but I was too scared of looking bad. What if I fell, or worse, what if the base couldn’t fly me because I was too heavy? Eventually, I was peer pressured to try it out, and it was… awesome. There aren’t many collaborative partner-based athletic activities, and it’s spiffy to work with someone to contort your bodies into fluid, beautiful movements. In some ways, it’s fulfilling the purpose behind our bodies: to move. Intrigued, I took a few acroyoga classes in CDMX and NYC, but I struggled to feel the same excitement. The classes ended with shame because I never felt enough compared to others: not flexible enough, muscular enough, or agile enough. In some ways, it reminded me of my relationship with writing, where the need for external validation and “success” often overshadowed my passion, resulting in bouts of burnout and writer's block. 

But then I rediscovered running, and for the first time, I enjoyed the journey more than the end destination. It has now become my harmonious passion, a thing that I do because I enjoy it rather than expecting something out of it. This wasn’t an overnight shift, but rather a series of small shifts through the course of my running journey. 

Pre-race selfie

Let me back up. I am not one of those people who ran since they were a little kid. In fact, one of my worst high school memories is dying under the Texas heat in an oversized T-shirt and gym shorts, forced to run a mile for gym class. Until very recently, I struggled to run a mile without feeling like I was going to barf. For most of my life, running was this annoying thing I was forced to do rather than any kind of pleasure.

But something changed when my now fiance,* who is really into running, convinced me to sign up for a 5K, his first after coming back from an injury. Plus, his parents would be there, and it was also my first time meeting them in person. I told him my short and frustrating history with running, but he pushed me to reconsider given that my fitness had improved significantly since high school. Maybe it was my desire to impress his parents, connect with a part of his identity, or checking out the NYC running culture, but I signed up for the race and started training. 

Training started rough. I was NOT a morning person, and I felt like a zombie during my runs. I was embarrassed as everyone else around me looked so glamorous and calm while running, whereas I had to stop every 0.2 miles. I also didn’t have any real structure to my training, which made me often feel like I was bumbling around. The only thing that got me through was the coffee shop near my park, where I bought myself a matcha latte as a post-run treat. When the 5K came around, I finished (barely). But… there was something electric about the race energy, strangers cheering you on. Running with all the other racers makes you feel like you’re part of something bigger, connected with this sweaty group of strangers through movement. It makes you feel like… kind of a badass? 

Soon, I joined a running club (shout out WMM) and after much support from my teammates and partner, I signed up for my first 10K, which I just completed earlier this month. It was also the first time I made an actual training plan, which was both fancy and intimidating, especially at the latter weeks where I had to run ten miles. For someone who had barely run three, ten seemed like a bit of a stretch. But as I started, there was something really satisfying about completing each practice run, checking them off on my calendar. Soon, after I got through the painful starts of my runs, I discovered running “flow”, where I felt incredibly present with my surroundings, gliding through the air with boundless energy. By week eight of my training plan, I had more flow than pain, and almost forgot that I had signed up for a 10K in the first place. 

To clarify: It didn’t mean every run was perfect. In fact, many runs sucked, especially at the beginning. I’d get frustrated when I wasn’t running at the pace that I thought I should, or if a run was particularly challenging to complete. I thought about giving up a lot, especially when the weather was too hot or my week too busy. But I kept going. I don’t know if it was my fiance’s encouragement, making progress with my running, the healthy lifestyle choices that surrounded my running routine (clean eating, waking up early), or the surge of endorphins post-run (aka runner’s high), but the challenges didn’t get me down. 

The conditions on race day were not ideal. It was drizzling the entire morning, resulting in intense humidity. Central Park was notorious for tough hills, and I didn’t know if I had trained enough for them. When I got to the race, I made my way to my corral, which I realized was the last one. Embarrassment creeped in my body, but then I remembered: there’s a whole line of people behind that didn’t even make it to the race. I set aside my feelings of inadequacy, popped in my headphones and played my special 10K playlist that I’d made the night before, and began running. 

As soon as I let go of this expectation, something eased inside of me. I finally started enjoying myself, high fiving the volunteers, singing along to my music, and smiling ear to ear. I loved feeling the wind against my face. My head was clear, the first time it had felt this way all week. I felt so grateful to be here, running this race, and even though I’d had a pretty terrible week leading up to the race, none of it mattered. Before I knew it, I was pushing towards the end of the race. When I crossed the finish line, I couldn’t believe that I was done. Then, my hip started cramping, so I really knew I was done. I was pleasantly surprised that I had finished faster than I anticipated, yet more importantly, I was happy that the entire journey had been so pleasant. It was a good race and I wasn’t injured. It far exceeded my expectations, and I rode that high for the rest of the weekend.

Now that the 10K is behind me, people are asking me what’s next. Perhaps the NYC marathon? I don’t know if I’m ready for that distance, but I do know that I want to run another race soon. And more importantly, I want to take what I’ve learned from running to transform my other interests into harmonious passions. The weight of achievement on my self worth is disproportional, and I’m excited for the blueprint from running to refocus these areas on the journey rather than the destination. And along the way, run a few more races, with a dopey smile on my face.

* : yes, I’m (recently) engaged! 

Thing of Note

Recap: This section is my way of bringing attention to a thing, person, or idea that’s meaningful/related to the mission of this newsletter. This week, I want to highlight bad idea, right? by Olivia Rodrigo. 

I know I’m usually recommending a book but… Olivia stans. This is such a funny, well written song with some really interesting vocal production (I’ve been really getting into song breakdowns in these past few weeks). Plus, very karaokable and nostalgic, both in its beats and themes (who hasn’t knowingly made a few bad decisions in their youth?) 

Thanks for Reading! 

I’m on a journey to create a blended career across the creative arts, tech, and business. This newsletter is my way of sharing my reflections, thoughts, and advice along the way. Here are some ways to support or further collaborate together! 

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